Every now and then, we receive a story that reminds us why acknowledging loss matters. Recently, a mother of four children shared her personal journey with us. After more than forty years of carrying the grief of losing two sons, she and her family found a way to finally give them a place within their family story.
With her permission, we are sharing her letter below in full.
“I am the mother of four children, two of whom have passed away: our eldest son died at birth, and our third son was stillborn at 20 weeks of pregnancy. For more than 40 years, we have barely discussed or processed the grief surrounding these losses. It wasn’t until my son suffered from burnout and my daughter struggled during her pregnancy with a strong sense of responsibility toward her brother and me that I realized there might be a deeper family dynamic at play.
Through the book Elvischildren and a family constellation, I gained insight into the fact that our deceased children had never truly been given a full place within our family. Together with my husband, I therefore consciously set out to process and acknowledge this loss.
In October 2025, we involved our children, family, and friends in our grief, planted two trees as a lasting memorial for our deceased sons, and gave symbolic mementos a visible place. For the first time, I was able to openly share my grief with my sisters.
This process has brought a great sense of relief. I feel more in touch with myself and sense that there is space and flow within our family again. I also see positive changes in my children: my son has reshaped his life and career, and my daughter no longer feels responsible for the happiness of others, allowing her to experience more space for her own family and future.”
Her story is a powerful reminder that healing does not have a deadline. Even after decades of silence, acknowledging loss and giving every family member a place can bring profound relief—not only to those who experienced the loss directly, but also to future generations.
We are deeply grateful that she entrusted us with her story.
Supporting Elvis Children is available through ACCO » or Amazon »
